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• 4 Ways a Baby Can Help Your Career
• 4 Ways a Baby Will Improve Your Marriage
• 5 Ways a Baby Will Challenge Your Marriage
• 5 Ways a Baby Will Enhance Your Friendships
• A Baby Will Open Your Heart
• Having a Baby Can Bring Families Closer Together
• Having a Baby Helps You Develop an Authentic Sense of Self

5 WAYS A BABY WILL ENHANCE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

Maintaining friendships may become more challenging with the arrival of children, but you’ll also find more opportunities to make friends as being a parent immerses you in more social situations and gives you common ground to share with other couples.

You’ll Find That Sharing Parenthood Is a Great Foundation for Friendship: If you’ve ever experienced difficulty making friends because you just couldn’t find someone with whom you have much in common, it’s about to become easier for you. When you’re a parent, a natural bond forms between you and other par­ents. You and the couple next door may have different lifestyles, careers, tastes, and ways of thinking, but if you both have children at similar ages, you’ll never lack topics for conversation.

You’ll Get More Breaks and Respect from Other Parents: Parents often get more breaks from other people, especially other parents. Let’s say a woman at work leaves the office promptly at five each and every day—announcing that she can­not stay longer, especially for spur-of-the-moment meetings. If you know she is the mother of a young child, you may very well cut her some slack because you know she must relieve a sitter and probably has little or no alternative to being away in certain situations. And a great deal of respect also comes with the territory of being a new parent. Who doesn’t open the door or let a new parent cut ahead in the line at the grocery store? We do this because we value the workload the new mom or dad has: We know they could use six hands, and we go out of our way to show them support and courtesy. People see parenthood as a valued status.

Friends Are a Necessary Reprieve from the Demands of Parenting: Although friendships can suffer when you’re meeting the demands of new parenthood, it doesn’t change these facts: You still need your friends and you will value them more. Your spouse and child can’t possibly meet all of your needs. Sometimes you just need an objective friend to hear you out and remind you who you really are besides your baby’s mommy. A good friend will help you deal with your new stresses and even enable you to get out of the house once in a while.

You’ll Benefit from the Experience and Advice Friends Give: You’re going to have questions when you’re a new parent—lots of them! Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Seasoned parents are great resources for in-the-trenches advice. Which style of pacifier do babies like best? Are generic diapers as good as brand name? How can I get my baby to eat her cereal? Ask a parent. You’ll appreciate your friends who are parents more than ever.

Some Friends Will Become a Wonderful Part of Your Child’s Life: You may assume that your friends who are parents will be the biggest help with your children, but you may be surprised to find that even friends without young children can become part of your parenting team. Older people whose own kids are grown might love to hold a new baby in their arms again, and often have plenty of time and patience to spend with a needy child. It’s always helpful to have a few surrogate grandmas who would jump at the chance to tend to your baby while you get a needed break for lunch. And younger adults who haven’t yet had children may find that they love getting their “baby fix” by looking after your child in preparation for having their own someday.

Friends come; friends go. Friendships evolve. Early parent­hood is a time when you’ll see a lot of this going on. Understand that your relationships may go through an adaptation phase as you adjust to the addition of a baby in your lives. Of course you’re busy, but make as much of an effort as possible to maintain your friendships. And nurture your new friendships, as friends are very important when you’re a new parent. Whether you are home with a little baby or juggling career and parenthood, the first year can be a lonely and uncertain time. Welcome the help and joy that others bring into your life. Make friends . . . and be a friend!

Adapted from Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year ©2006 by Bettie B. Youngs, Ph.D., Ed.D., Susan M. Heim, and Jennifer L. Youngs.